The first post is always the hardest

So I really suck at introductions…I know, we’re off to a really eloquent start, right? Oh just you wait!

So I’m Zillah, and I’m in process of becoming a writer and ruling the whole entire world, but I suppose that’s pretty obvious, too. Man, I’m on a roll! Seriously, I love to write and conjure stories that combine the sparkly, magical elements that I loved as a kid with the slightly off-center, macabre, speculative elements that I love as an adult. And why do I want to rule the world? Uh…why wouldn’t I?

I’ve had one story published thus far in the Wicked East Press anthology Halloween Frights vol. 3, have a stack of submissions out and about, and I’m working on some new stuff. I tend to aim for the darker speculative fiction and/or romantica, with a little side dish of erotic horror thrown in every now and again to liven things up. Lord, about me…I suppose to really let you in on my personality I’ll share a few tidbits that should get us acquainted right quick.

  • I find genetic tampering acceptable if this means that in a few years I can go to Wal-Mart and buy a raptor. Wouldn’t that be the best pet ever?! I mean, think of it! If you were stuck in line at the bank or DMV all you’d have to do is say “Excuse me, if things don’t move a little faster I may have to let my raptor out of the car; he gets so cranky being there all alone, you know.” Or if someone tries to mug you, you just whistle and let your blood-thirsty attack raptor take care of it. Someone says something stupid? Want to liven up a monotonous family gathering? You guessed it! Bring on the raptors! And you could dress them up for Christmas card photos, take them to raptor shows…the possibilities are endless!
  • I want Megatron to be my car.  I get that he’s a little anti-human, but I feel that this is negotiable. I’m all for letting him run over people who try to cut me off or steal my parking spot. I mean, really – if he was my car I’d NEVER get a lousy parking spot ever again!
  • If there’s ever an alien takeover, I hope it’s done by a group that’s like the Empire in Star Wars. Okay, really I just want the Empire to try to take over Earth so I can be on the opposite side, get to play with cool weaponry, wear cool outfits, and find out that I have some hidden dormant Force ability. I mean why the hell are we associating hostile alien takeovers with slimy weird tentacled things when we could be ruled by the Sith?! And let’s face it, that way I could have a Rancor for a pet, too.
  • I have this secret, hidden love of ultra cutesy stuff. While I don’t really collect Hello Kitty stuff, I totally check it out. Same with those little tiny food rings and necklaces, office supplies that look like baby animals, little plush toys, knit hats and scarves that look like cute monsters that are trying to eat your head or strangle you…all that good stuff! I also have a fixation with shojo manga and I can be coerced into watching the occasional anime or Jdrama, depending on what it’s about.
  • I feel that the use of women as eye candy is a necessary evil in some genres and media forms – at the very least I get that it’s not going away…but this means I should be getting way more male eye candy. Seriously, even in a comic satire form, why is this not happening? I would kill to form a chick cover group, do nothing but the obvious cock-rock songs, and have all my videos feature a hot dude on the hood of a car. The same with horror – I get that certain parts of women are somehow a staple of the genre, but if dudes can have a million movies with girls getting their clothes accidentally torn off  while running from a serial killer or a hoard of killer demons/aliens/piranhas/chickens and this somehow is integral to the plot of the movie, is it so much to ask that I get a few movies where a guy gets  his pants torn off by a possessed chick hillbilly zombie while running through a sprinkler? I’m pretty sure I could make this make way more sense than the running-away girl.  If I have to sit through a random movie and watch boobs, then I want some really hot guys on-screen in various states of undress.  Seriously, ladies. The time has come for us to get in on this. At the very least, it’s equal-opportunity eye candy and silliness. And heaven forbid, it may jump start the genre in a new direction.

Yup. That’s pretty much how I roll! See all the great commentary you have to look forward to?

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~ by admin on November 3, 2011.

One Response to “The first post is always the hardest”

  1. You got to push it-this esntaeisl info that is!

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